Week 7

In the dictionary, infidelity is defined as marital disloyalty, adultery, or unfaithfulness. These words are a good description. However, I am going to take it one step farther and say that infidelity can even be something as simple as flirting or sharing your heart and feelings with another person besides your spouse. You can practice infidelity in your heart even if you are not actually having sex or giving your body to someone else. 

This prompts the questions: should a husband/wife have friends of the opposite sex? Where are the boundaries? Are you allowed to be jealous? Do you need to relinquish old friends when you get married? These are all good things to discuss with your significant other before you get married. In a marriage, many boundaries are laid down that weren't previously there before. When you choose to marry a person, you are committing to them completely; emotionally and physically. So lets talk about some of the boundaries that should be laid down once you are married. 

Many people have a hard time letting go of friends of the opposite sex when they get married. But lets think about it this way: those friends are your past, your spouse is your future. While you are dating your significant other, you should already be able to see a distancing between yourself and old friends while at the same time drawing closer to your future spouse. You and your spouse are a partnership and there is no room for anyone else in it. Let's back up though. I am not saying that you have to completely shut out all your friends. But there is a line that must be drawn in the relationship. If you are going out to lunch with friends of the opposite sex or hanging out with them when your spouse is not around, this can foster the kind of environment that could lead to contention in your marriage. "Opposite-sex buddies become sources of contention...and comparison. You never had to deal with your buddy with morning breath while stressing about an important exam while they had the flu" (Friends, Facebook, and Fidelity Presentation). 

Your spouse should not ever have to wonder they are irrationally jealous. They have every right to be jealous because a marriage means total commitment and a promise to give your heart and feelings only to your spouse. They are your one and only. "The problem with friends is that they may invade even without intending to. Emotional infidelity is damaging, and often leads to other forms of betrayal. Sharing one's tender feelings, confidences, and aspirations creates bonds. These should be reserved for your spouse" (Friends, Facebook, and Fidelity Presentation). It is okay to consider people of the opposite sex to be a friend, but a line must be drawn once you are married. This line is drawn at spending good amounts of time alone with them or telling them things that should only be told to your spouse. Here are some boundaries that can be made to protect and preserve a strong partnership with your spouse: "friendships change and fade into the background. Digital distractions are carefully regulated, both in time and content. Family members are invited to step back, and play a support role to the couple. You're not children anymore. Love and kindness prevail in such a way that no one can doubt your total devotion to one another" (Friends, Facebook, and Fidelity Presentation).

A marriage is such a beautiful and sacred thing. It should be cared for and protected at all costs. "Thou shalt love thy wife (and husband) with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her (and him) and none else" (D&C 42:22). Cherish your spouse and don't do anything that would hurt or make them uncomfortable. This will strengthen your marriage for eternity.